Today was a rainy-foggy-sticky-humid kind of day. The kind of day that makes you feel like you’re underwater because the air is just so damp and heavy. Gross right? Now imagine that in a restaurant. What a nice setting to this true story.
It was just your average night today at my restaurant; not too busy or slow. I had a steady flow of tables all night with mediocre tips and guests — nothing really noteworthy. I was pretty much bored out of my mind when I glanced over to my section and noticed that I had been sat a new table. What excitement! I immediately headed towards the new table to introduce myself.
Upon first impression, the couple seemed to be of the typical sort. I observed the guy being way more into the girl than she was into him, but who was I to judge? This is a snip-it of the conversation I overheard while checking over my other tables:
Guy: Baby, you can have whatever you want.
Girl: (while texting) I don’t even wanna be here.
Guy: (touches her hand) But baby, tonight is such an important night.
Girl: (snatches hand away and resumes texting, avoiding eye contact) Let’s just go.
Guy: No no no no no, let’s just have a good night, like old times.
Clearly the girl has little to no interest. The guy was trying super hard. Poor guy. Their date was pretty much like this all night.
After I served them dinner and cleared away the plates, I asked if they would like dessert. They both said no, but the guy told me that they’d need at least twenty minutes before they would like the check. I raised my eyebrow at the request, but didn’t question him. Maybe it’d help my tip. Since I had nothing to do, I decided to slink down into a neighboring booth in a closed section to secretly catch up on my twenty games of Words With Friends.
Just a few moments after doing so, I peer up at look at my table. The guy was now on his knee, kneeling beside the girl in the booth. Oh no, I thought, this is gonna be either great or a disaster. I looked around the restaurant. The few guests who were dining were all eagerly watching, along with all my fellow servers. An audience!
The guy took the girl’s hand seemingly against her will into his hand (yep, there was definitely resistance on her part). The girl immediately grabbed her phone and began texting. The guy kissed her hand, held out a ring and said in the most desperate sounding voice, “Baby, I love you. So much. And I know that we have problems and that tonight hasn’t been the best, but baby, I need you. Please baby. Will you marry me?”
The girl pretended she didn’t hear him and continued texting away. She retracted her hand.
The guy even more desperate now, took her hand again and asked, “Baby, did you hear me? I just proposed to you.”
The girl regained herself, put her phone down and said, “Oh. Yea I heard you, but um…we need to think about this.”
The guy’s eyes darted around nervously. I think this was the point that he realized that he had an audience. And that he was just rejected in front of this audience. “Please baby, don’t do this to me. Not in front of everyone. Please marry me.”
Heartlessly, the girl said, “Nope. We gotta think about it. Now get up, put that ring away and pay the bill. Stop embarrassing yourself.”
The guy awkwardly got up, put the ring into his pocket and looked around for me to bring the check. I immediately jumped up and brought it to him. He quickly dropped a $100 bill into the check presenter and before I could even process the events that just took place, the couple was gone.
Poor awkward guy. I appreciated his hasty $70 tip, but damn, his life sucks!