Happy Father’s Day

Before work today, I was in a Hallmark store browsing Father’s Day cards for my father.  I began my adventure at the beginning of the Father’s Day card aisle and browsed through a few of the ordinary “Happy Father’s Day Dad, you are my hero” type of cards.  Then I got to the more specific cards like “Happy Father’s Day from your spoiled little girl”, “Happy Father’s Day to one red hot lover from your sexy wife”, “Happy Father’s Day from the pooch woof woof!”…you know, cards catered towards all types of card-givers.  Next came the “Feliz Dia De Los Padres” cards for the Spanish speaking card givers.  Hmmm, to be expected, I thought, America really is becoming a melting pot.  I quickly glanced over them so I could have a little idea of how to wish the male kitchen crew at my restaurant happy father’s day.  When I felt that my arsenal was sufficiently full of Spanish phrases praising dads, I drew my attention to the cards at the end of the aisle.  DID YOU KNOW THAT HALLMARK HAS AN ENTIRE SELECTION OF CARDS SPECIFICALLY MARKETED TO AFRICAN AMERICANS???  I was astounded.  Overcome with curiosity, I picked up a card with a nice looking African American family pictured on the front with the words, “You go dad!” across the top.  When I opened up the card, I read, “Today’s your day, dad.  Can’t nobody hold you down today!”  I flinched and immediately returned the card to its home on the rack.  Not sure whether I felt awkward or proud of my multicultural country, I buried the memory, chose an appropriate card for my own father and proceeded to work.

When I walked into my inner city restaurant, I was immediately bombarded by hosts begging me to clock in so they could seat me ASAP.  Already dressed and ready to make some cash money, I told them all to fill up my section with anything and everything. After mulling over the racially diverse selection of Father’s Day cards available for Americans earlier on in the day, I decided that I felt good.  I felt empowered and privileged to be working in such a multicultural restaurant setting in which diversity was very apparent.  I was ready to start wishing all the fathers at my tables a happy day!

First table was a large party that consisted of one fatherly figure, one motherly figure and seven children ranging in age from newborn to fourteen years of age.  Shit show.  Thank goodness for gratuity.  Second table was a church going family who preached to me about the importance of a strong father to head the household.  Great, but uh, your prayer card does not pay my bills or buy me nice things.  Third table was a fairly young foreign couple on a date.  After my first two tables, I was fairly hopeful that this couple would be the type to over tip because they don’t know any better.  False hopes it turned out — two dollars.  Great.  I was on a roll.

The rest of the night consisted of long ticket times because the kitchen was backed up, angry customers because the hosts drastically underestimated their wait time, lack of toilet paper in the restroom because whatever manager orders the restaurant supplies clearly forgot that it was Father’s Day weekend, melted ice cream because someone decided to turn the ice cream freezer off, and a seemingly endless flow of baby daddies who just did not know how to tip.  Or maybe they just read a greeting card that empowered them to not let nobody hold them down — including the American system of tipping wait staff.

All in all, the day was a complete fail.  I put up with way more bullshit than on a usual inner city restaurant day, but made half the money despite the double volume.  I love my job!

I hope you had a fantastic Father’s Day!

The Odd Couple

Today was a rainy-foggy-sticky-humid kind of day.  The kind of day that makes you feel like you’re underwater because the air is just so damp and heavy.  Gross right?  Now imagine that in a restaurant.  What a nice setting to this true story.

It was just your average night today at my restaurant; not too busy or slow.  I had a steady flow of tables all night with mediocre tips and guests — nothing really noteworthy.  I was pretty much bored out of my mind when I glanced over to my section and noticed that I had been sat a new table.  What excitement!  I immediately headed towards the new table to introduce myself.

Upon first impression, the couple seemed to be of the typical sort.  I observed the guy being way more into the girl than she was into him, but who was I to judge?  This is a snip-it of the conversation I overheard while checking over my other tables:

Guy: Baby, you can have whatever you want.
Girl: (while texting) I don’t even wanna be here.
Guy: (touches her hand) But baby, tonight is such an important night.
Girl: (snatches hand away and resumes texting, avoiding eye contact) Let’s just go.
Guy: No no no no no, let’s just have a good night, like old times.

Clearly the girl has little to no interest.  The guy was trying super hard.  Poor guy.  Their date was pretty much like this all night.

After I served them dinner and cleared away the plates, I asked if they would like dessert.  They both said no, but the guy told me that they’d need at least twenty minutes before they would like the check.  I raised my eyebrow at the request, but didn’t question him. Maybe it’d help my tip.  Since I had nothing to do, I decided to slink down into a neighboring booth in a closed section to secretly catch up on my twenty games of Words With Friends.

Just a few moments after doing so, I peer up at look at my table.  The guy was now on his knee, kneeling beside the girl in the booth.  Oh no, I thought, this is gonna be either great or a disaster. I looked around the restaurant.  The few guests who were dining were all eagerly watching, along with all my fellow servers.  An audience!

The guy took the girl’s hand seemingly against her will into his hand (yep, there was definitely resistance on her part).  The girl immediately grabbed her phone and began texting.  The guy kissed her hand, held out a ring and said in the most desperate sounding voice, “Baby, I love you.  So much.  And I know that we have problems and that tonight hasn’t been the best, but baby, I need you.  Please baby.  Will you marry me?”

The girl pretended she didn’t hear him and continued texting away.  She retracted her hand.

The guy even more desperate now, took her hand again and asked, “Baby, did you hear me?  I just proposed to you.”

The girl regained herself, put her phone down and said, “Oh.  Yea I heard you, but um…we need to think about this.”

The guy’s eyes darted around nervously.  I think this was the point that he realized that he had an audience.  And that he was just rejected in front of this audience.  “Please baby, don’t do this to me.  Not in front of everyone.  Please marry me.”

Heartlessly, the girl said, “Nope.  We gotta think about it.  Now get up, put that ring away and pay the bill.  Stop embarrassing yourself.”

The guy awkwardly got up, put the ring into his pocket and looked around for me to bring the check.  I  immediately jumped up and brought it to him. He quickly dropped a $100 bill into the check presenter and before I could even process the events that just took place, the couple was gone.

Poor awkward guy.  I appreciated his hasty $70 tip, but damn, his life sucks!

Babies.

I love babies.  I love when I am working and am seated with a table that has a gorgeous little baby with them — it makes my serving the table about 10 times better simply because I adore little babies!!  I get super excited when I see signs of a baby at my table…and cannot wait to approach them to stare at and coo over said baby…but sometimes, my expectation to see a lovely little angel baby is crushed when the baby is simply — how can I put this lightly — ugly.  I don’t mean to be mean, but let’s be honest.  There are two types of babies in this world: beautiful babies and ugly babies.  This is a very black and white concept.  If you take a moment to consider all the babies you’ve ever encountered in your day, I bet you will realize that the babies were either absolutely adorable or unbelievably ugly.  I don’t know why this is the case, but it’s true.  Anyway, last night, during my dinner shift, I met a baby that fit into one of these two categories.  This is the story.

I was walking around the restaurant looking for something to do because it was such a slow, uneventful Saturday night when I noticed that the host was seating a table for me — a table with a sling for a baby seat!  I got uber excited and pranced over to the bar area where I could patiently wait for my table to sit down and settle in before I approached them.  (Let me mention that the bar area is about ten feet away from this table.) Anyway, as this table finishes settling in, one of my very close server friends (who we shall call Pinkett) runs up to me and exclaims, “OH MY GOD!  DID YOU SEE THE BABY AT TABLE 23??  IT IS SOOOOOOO UGLY!!!!”.  Shocked and appalled, I grab Pinkett’s arm and duck us both into the kitchen where I tersely chide her for her audacious badmouthing of my table’s baby within their earshot!  I dreaded approaching the table.

So to make a long story short, the table never confirmed to me whether or not they heard Pinkett’s comment, but based on the 7% tip I received from them, I am certain they heard.  I’m totally not being spiteful when I say this, but Pinkett was absolutely right about the baby.  It looked meaner than Mike Tyson!  It was one effing ugly son of a mother.  And that’s putting it nicely.

I heart mini vacations (episode 3)

I don’t know about you, but I absolutely adore little non-big corporate chain restaurants that have eccentric feels to them, and offer delicious little treasures of food at ridiculously reasonable prices.  Don’t get me wrong — I love chain restaurants just as much as anyone, but there’s something charming about little, less known restaurants that fills my heart and tummy with all sorts of happiness.  I’m super excited to share with you the experience I had at Cafe Tu Tu Tango (I adore the play on words of this restaurant name)!  It was a total spur of the moment decision to go to Cafe Tu Tu, but boy am I glad I stopped in.

Just to give you a little bit of an overview of what this restaurant’s about: Cafe Tu Tu Tango is a tiny little hole-in-the-wall place that features a tapas style menu that is ever-changing.  The space is covered in eccentric art, most of which is made by local artists.  The atmosphere is laid back and even a bit gypsy/starving artist/hippie/omgipoppedtoomanyepills.  It’s got great upbeat music and is colorful, friendly and oh, I could just go on and on about how much I love this place…

My friend and I decided on a carafe of white wine mango sangria made with white wine, (mango/apple/orange/lime) fruit juices, Spanish Brandy, Triple Sec, gin, and fresh slices of Granny Smith apples, oranges and lime.  A bit strong for my little self, but mmmm, it was beyond tasty.

 

The first tapa of the night: Roasted Pears on Pecan Crisps.  Oh.  My.  Goodness.  Instant mouth orgasm.  The pears were juicy and perfectly oven roasted, beautifully complemented by the sweet crispiness and lightness of the flaky pecan crisps they were served over.  The fresh, soft and smooth arugula coupled with the creamy crumbled bleu cheese and savory balsamic drizzle worked wonders with the sweetness of the pears and crisps.  This tapa was an explosion of flavors and textures — perfect first dish that made my mouth water for more…

 

Second tapa of the night: Duck Confit Salad.  Un. Be. Lievable.  Chopped tender roasted duck meat atop a bed of smooth arugula and mixed Mediterranean greens, creamy goat cheese crumbles, dried cranberries and balsamic vinaigrette…served over a crispy flat bread and caramelized onions.  There’s just something about layers of opposing but oh so complementary flavors and textures that make me the most giddy and satisfied person in the world.  I believe I fell in love eating this tapa.  Mmmmm…

 

Third tapa of the night: Macadamia Crusted Mahi Mahi Skewers.  Lightly crusted chunks of moist mahi mahi grilled a la plancha (for those of you who are non-Spanish speakers: on a metal plank/plate/surface), served with sweet, sticky pineapple jasmine rice with a drizzle of coconut soy sauce.  Island inspired flavors, bold colors and a gorgeous plate presentation makes an absolutely heavenly delight for my mouth.

 

Fourth tapa of the night: Spicy Crab Chopsticks.  Whimsically plated and absolutely lovely to stare at, this dish was wonderful.  Three ‘chopsticks’ consisting of a light, crispy outer shell (similar to a thick egg roll wrapper) stuffed with sweet and spicy crab meat, topped with drizzles of spicy Chinese inspired hot mustard sauce and black sesame seeds, chopped green onions and cilantro.  Oh my delicious.

 

Fifth tapa of the night: Flame Grilled Baby Lamb Chops.  Rare.  Bloody Rare.  Mmmm…served over a ball of Greek inspired orzo salad with bits of diced roma tomatoes, crumbled feta cheese and pitted black olives, a bed of blanched baby spinach and topped with a balsamic drizzle.  This dish melted in my mouth.  There’s nothing like rare meat on the bone…mmmm.

 

Sixth and final tapa of the night: Gator Bites!  Lightly breaded and deep fried bits of farm raised alligator meat served with a horseradish mustard and key lime pepper aioli.  Tender and juicy interior and crispy and peppery exterior…yum.

If I could build a Cafe Tu Tu Tango in my basement and eat a few tapas a day, I would definitely do it without hesitation.  Absolutely phenomenal in every way — flavors, textures, colors, plate presentations, atmosphere…everything was well above extraordinary.  100% worth the $91 ($71 for the total check, $20 tip for the delightful server) spent.  Do yourselves a favor, fly down to Florida and visit this place!  You’ll fall in love, I promise.

 

I heart mini vacations (episode 2)

There’s nothing like going on a mini vacation and spending ridiculous amounts of money that you normally wouldn’t spend.  Quick tangent — I discovered outlets in Florida and decided to spend some hours browsing the designer shops.  Long story short, additional luggage purchases were made in order for me to pack all my stuff to fly home with me. Anyway, there is a more upscale — though not reaching the level of ’5 star dining’ — restaurant that I had heard lots of tales about but have never had the pleasure of dining in, simply because the closest one to my home state of Connecticut is in New Jersey…and quite frankly, a three hour drive to dine is just not worth it to me.  The name of this restaurant is Seasons 52.

Seasons 52 is a restaurant that prides itself on the freshness and high quality of their foods, and the fact that they constantly change their menu — once a week, or 52 times a year to be exact — based on the current season’s offerings of meats, fruits, spices…  The restaurant features an open kitchen where chefs and line cooks expertly prepare meals, a posh bar area, and extremely fancy restrooms.  I ventured off to Seasons 52 with high expectations based on all the hype I’ve heard, and I’m very glad to say that I was not disappointed in the least.

 

The evening’s dinner began with a selection of wine.  Being a lover of robust red wines, I chose a bottle of St. Hallet Gamekeeper’s Reserve 2008 — a rich and powerful Shiraz with a very delightful blend of red berries with a hint of spice.  Bottled Fuji water was necessary as well.

The appetizer menu at Seasons 52 looked absolutely phenomenal, but in the interest of sharing, and per recommendation of the server, my colleagues and I decided on three flat breads to try (in order from top to bottom): Garlic Chicken Flat Bread featuring balsamic roasted red onions and red peppers and a blend of shredded mozzarella and romano cheeses, Spicy Chipotle Shrimp Flat Bread featuring sweet grilled pineapple, roasted spicy poblano peppers and crumbled feta cheese, and Grilled Steak and Cremini Mushroom Flat Bread featuring fresh spinach and bleu cheese crumbles.  All were explosions of playful flavors mingling and flirting with my taste buds, satisfying with every bite.

 

Medium rare venison chops served over sauteed greens and mashed sweet potatoes with a savory balsamic reduction.  Absolutely phenomenal melt-in-your-mouth, moan and sigh with each delightful bite kind of main course.

 

What I loved most about dinner at Seasons 52 has got to be the mini indulgences: perfectly portioned decadence in square shot glasses.  Of the eight ultra tempting choices, I selected two (the third and fourth from the left) dessert shots.  Banana creme layered with warm banana cake, fresh whipped cream and crushed pecans, garnished with a glazed banana chip.  Mouth orgasm.  Peanut butter mousse layered with chocolate mousse, fresh whipped cream, and finished with shavings of Belgian milk and white chocolate.  Mouth orgasm.

 

And what dessert would be complete without the accompaniment of a fresh hand crafted cappuccino?  Bold, intense and smooth with the perfect proportion of steamed milk countering the sinfully sweet mini indulgences.  Mmmm…

 

Overall, entirely too much money was spent on this meal, but it was entirely worth it.  Every bite was a journey of flavors and textures…decadent, delicious, wonderfully satisfying in every way.

I heart mini vacations (episode 1)

I’ve been on a mini vacation from the workplace…I am down in sunny Florida, and what better to do with my spare time than enjoy food?  I absolutely adore flavors, textures, colors, plate presentations…mmmm.  I figure that since Florida has a plethora of restaurants and foods not available in my current home state Connecticut, why not visit as many as possible and try some new dishes?  I’ve been in Florida for four days thus far, and each day has been a new food experience.  I will present the food experiences in no particular order of occurrence…just what I feel like uploading at the time.  The focus of this experience will be BENIHANA.

Benihana is a teppanyaki style chain restaurant focusing on personalized service and prepared as requested culinary delights.  I heard a rumor that there used to be Benihanas in Connecticut, but alas, they no longer exist in the Constitution State.  Anyway, to sum it up, my experience at Benihana was absolutely incredible; the food was fresh, flavorful and playfully plated and served by skilled teppanyaki chefs.  Everything I tasted was an explosion of goodness in my mouth and I left feeling extremely satisfied…

 

Left: White Peach Sake Sangria featuring peach, passion fruit and pineapple puree perfectly mixed with white wine and sake.  Right: Exotic Mojito featuring a masterfully muddled concoction of Malibu Mango Rum, passion fruit puree, pineapple juice, lime wedges and fresh sprigs of mint.  Bottoms up.

 

I chose the Rainbow Roll specialty sushi roll as an appetizer: sticky rice wrapped around crab stick, cucumber and izumidai, topped with colorful layers of salmon, yellowtail, avocado, and shrimp.  Beautifully rolled and exquisite in flavor balance and texture.

 

The first course of the meal was Benihana’s own onion soup.  The soup had just the right balance of onion flavor and broth, complimented by fried onion strings, shiitake mushrooms, and green onions.  Not overwhelmingly pungent…just perfect for whetting my appetite.

 

Second course of the meal: delightfully light green salad accented with chopped carrots and shredded red cabbage, finished with a fresh in house-made ginger dressing.  Mmmm…

 

Third course: freshly prepared chicken fried rice!  The teppanyaki chef was wonderfully whimsical in his preparation and presentation of this dish.  He playfully juggled the eggs prior to cracking them and adding them to the rice, and playfully shaped the mound of rice into the shape of a heart for his hungry audience.  He skillfully scooped rice servings into each adorable little bowl, and literally ‘cartwheeled’ the bowls off his spatula, and sent them rolling just perfectly enough to land in front of each member of his audience.  Wow.

 

Course number four: Tantalizing colossal shrimp, sweet yellow bell pepper, fresh asparagus and cilantro sauteed in a sweet mango sauce finished with a touch of lime.  Fantastic interaction of sweet and spicy flavors bring out the natural sweetness of the shrimp and strongly satisfy my taste buds.

 

Fifth course: Benihana’s Seafood Diablo which is a firey combination of plump colossal shrimp, succulent calamari strips, and sweet sea scallops with assorted Chinese vegetables and Japanese udon noodles seasoned with a splendorous spicy sauce made in-house.  This dish was totally worth my face sweating beyond belief.

Sixth and final course of the evening: freshly cut and skillfully arranged Pineapple Boat!  This is by far one of the most cute and capricious desserts I have seen; a quartered pineapple cut into Jenga-like pieces, garnished with fat, juicy maraschino cherries and a little mini umbrella?  I’ll eat one every day for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

MmMmmmmm…Tip is full.  And very content.  Time for a nap!

I think I’ll go to Vegas…

Everyone who knows me knows that I am the absolute antithesis to a morning person.  I absolutely abhor the idea of waking up before 11 am, let alone doing anything productive before then.  So when I was informed of my duty to train a new hire at the restaurant today at 9 am, I wasn’t exactly the happiest camper.  But being the dedicated person that I am, I sucked down three cups of coffee and made it to the restaurant by 8:45 am this morning to prepare for my first training session with the new hire, followed by a dinner shift.  Ugh.

After a long 6 hour training session with the new hire, I clocked in as a server to begin my dinner shift.  Typical slow Wednesday dinner.  My first table of the night came in about an hour after my shift began.  Average looking white haired couple in their fifties.  Wonderful.

Long story short, I chatted up a storm with the couple because quite frankly, there wasn’t much else going on in the restaurant.  I had all the time in the world to chat, so that’s exactly what I did.  I must have bonded really well and made the couple feel awesome because when I picked up the $50 check, the gentleman reached his hand out, put it on mine, and said, “You might just be able to go to Vegas now…good luck!”  I thanked the couple and wished them a fine evening.  First tip of the night — $20 — that’s 40% man!!

Hmm…next vacation?  I think I’ll go to Vegas…

Delicious…

You know what makes a delicious dinner?  Grilled salmon (medium of course) infused with a homemade marinade of maple, soy sauce, brown sugar, lemon and garlic…complimented by sauteed sugar snap peas seasoned with worchestershire sauce, extra virgin olive oil, and a touch of cayenne pepper and cinnamon kissed baked sweet potatoes…paired with a sweet, crisp glass of riesling.  Perfect balance of sweet, savory and spicy.  Great end to a long day at the restaurant.

Army Couple

Tonight I had the pleasure of serving an older couple…a lovely lady and her husband who was wearing military tags around his neck.  Always taking the time to notice such things, I offered my hand to the gentleman and thanked him for his service in the armed forces.  He was taken aback by the fact that I acknowledged his service, and warmly shook my hand and thanked me for thanking him — what a sharing is caring moment!  We chatted for a while about a wide range of topics ranging from his days of duty to favorite foods and vacation spots.  The both of them were very pleasant people, and I thoroughly enjoyed meeting and serving them.  At the end of the meal, their check came to a total of $40 and change.  The gentleman took the checkbook, thanked me for a wonderful dining experience and assured me that he would ‘take care of me’.  Great.  I thanked the couple, wished them a lovely evening, and parted ways.  When I picked up the checkbook, I saw that he had left me a tip of $9.11.  Cute?  Ironic?  Eerie?  Generous?  Whatever it was, it was better than nothing, and reassured me that the couple legitimately did have a good time out.

Overall, tonight was an excellent night.  I made a total of about 35% of my sales in tips…so yay!  Go me

Conversation Niblet…

My last table of the night consisted of a couple…who strolled in at 9:57 pm — a whole 3 minutes before my restaurant’s closing time.  They ordered an appetizer and two entrees.  Though I had worked for a good chunk of the day/night and desperately wanted to go home, being the exceptionally wonderful waitress that I am, I treated them with great respect — even cracking jokes and laughing with them — and did not rush them at all.  They seemed like good people, and they seemed to be having a swell time late night dining at my table.

In between checking on them and while patiently waiting for them to finish eating, I cleaned the other tables in my section.  I caught bits and pieces of their conversation, but nothing struck me more than the niblet of conversation I heard after dropping off their check — which was $55.

Female at table, “You paying with $57 and you not waiting for change?”
Male at table, “The rest is her tip.”
Female, “What?  You giving her $2?”
Male, “Yea.”
Female, “No you not; you don’t need to give her anything.”
Male, “I gotta give her something.”
Female, “No you don’t.”
Male, “Yea I do.”
Female, “Well…you sure you wanna leave $2?  That’s a lot.”
Male, “Yea.”
Female, “You really gonna give her $2?  Give her $1.”
Male, “I’m giving her $2.” *starts to get up and leave*
Female, “I ain’t happy about this.  Just so you know.” *gets up to follow male in a total slump…and whines the whole way out*

Arguing over a $2 tip on a $55 check.  That’s some real class.